Half A World Away

It has been a long time since I last put on my headphone at work and listen to music. I used to do this a lot more in the past, when I wanted to shut myself out from the outside world and concentrate on my work, when I am feeling down, or when I want to have some quiet time with myself.

Right after I got back to office after lunch today, I continued to listen to the CD that I played in the morning - the Earthsongs by Secret Garden, another of my favorite CD series.

The first song that came up is “Half A World Away” – a song that touched me deeply, and I would like to share this with you …

(Composed by Rolf Lovland, Lyrics written by Brendan Graham)

You are half a world away,
Standing next to me,
It seems that everyday,
I’m losing you almost invisibly.
Though you are near,
I can’t reach that far,
Across to where you are,
And so you stay …
Just half a world away.

And I would cross,
The universe for you –
What good would it do,
If you weren’t even there?
Till you return –
Until your way is clear,
I will be here …
Not half a world away.

You’re half a world away,
And no one is to blame –
If love outlives its day,
And turns into an ember from a flame,
I love you as before,
Till worlds will be no more,
Till I can find a way,
To where you stay …
Just a half a world away

And I would cross,
The universe for you –
What good would it do,
If you weren’t even there?
Till you return –
Until your way is clear,
I will be here …
Not half a world away,
You’re half a world away.

Dedicating this song to someone who was once so close ...

The 90/10 Secret

I blew my top this morning, over an incident that happened at home!

I was so affected by the incident that I carried the anger with me even when I was driving to work. My mind was focused on the incident and all the things that this person had done wrong in the past.

I then thought about all the bad things that happened in the last one week, and I lamented about what a lousy week I have. I could feel the frown on my forehead, the angry expression on my face and the tension building up inside me.

My car audio was playing a music CD – Colors of a New Dawn by Gandalf, one of my favourite artists. The soothing and relaxing music must have calmed me. I asked myself, “Why do I get so upset? The incident is really no big deal.” The moment I asked myself this question, the negative thought stopped.

I reflected on what happened and could not believe that I reacted so strongly to a minor incident. I recalled a 90/10 story that a friend sent me sometime ago – a secret that can change our life. Everytime when I over-reacted to a problem, situation or incident, somehow this story would enter my mind after I cooled down.

What is this 90/10 secret that can change our life? 10% of life is made up of what happens to us. 90% of life is decided by how we react to what happens to us.

What does this mean? We have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop others from saying something negative about us and we cannot stop the train from arriving late. But the other 90% is different. We control the other 90%! How? By our reaction to the 10%. So what if someone says something negative about me, I don’t care! So what if we are 10 minutes like, no one notice anyway!

Just like this morning, the incident had happened, which I had no control over, but I could have controlled my reaction, by not getting angry with the person and subsequently feeling sorry for myself!

Yes, we can control how we react to what happens around us! Remember the 90/10 secret, do not worry about small matters and we will change our life!

As a matter of fact, I have a good day today. I feel relaxed, I was focused and I accomplished what I set out to do today.

Listen to your heart

These are another 2 of my favorite ZO cards.

"Logic can tell you superficially where a path might lead to, but it cannot judge whether your heart will be in it."
-- Jean Shinoda Bolen

Bigger "Why", Easier "How"

I attended the seminar on The Millionaire Mind Intensive by T Harv Eker over the weekend. This is the 1st time that the seminar was held in Asia and there were close to 5,000 people in the seminar hall.

There were many things to learn and unlearn in this seminar. Many good stories and experiences were shared, our beliefs were challenged and of course we had a lot of fun too.

“The bigger the why, the easier the how” – Harv shared with us one of Jim Rohn’s sayings, and he repeated this many times.

I pondered over this statement for quite a while, thought about my own experiences and could not agree more with this statement – “The bigger the why, the easier the how”.

What does bigger “why” means? Clarity on what we want and why we want it (the purpose). With clarity on our purpose, we will then have the motivation to take action and look for ways to get what we want, thus the easier “how”.

On the other hand, if we cannot answer the “why” or is vague about the answer, then it is unlikely that we know how to move on as we do not know where we are heading and why do we even have to move.

There were many other nuggets that I picked up from the seminar, but for now, “the bigger the why, the easier the how” stick in my mind.

Quotes to live by in 2008

A friend gave me a 2008 corporate planner diary today. I flipped through the diary and I fell in love with it immediately. In addition to the practical use of the diary, there is a meaningful quotation with a nice picture printed on every month.

I read through the 12-month quotations and I really enjoyed it. I am sure you will too.

Jan 08 - You don’t pay the price for success. You enjoy the price for success.

Feb 08 - You will either find a way or make one.

Mar 08 - Seek first to understand then to be understood.

Apr 08 - Well done is better than well said.

May 08 - Cooperation and love together – make everything go smoothly in this world.

Jun 08 - Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.

Jul 08 - Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

Aug 08 - Knowing is not enough; we must apply.

Sep 08 - You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.

Oct 08 - The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.

Nov 08 - When we have done our best, we should wait for the result in peace.

Dec 08 - It is not the mountains that we conquer, but ourselves.

Don't Criticize, Condemn and Complain

I was at Borders, taking advantage of the year-end promotion to shop for Christmas presents and to stock up my personal library.

The bookstore was packed with people as it was a Saturday, but it did not bother me as I would normally just browse through the books row by row, shelf by shelf, and oblivious to the people around me.

But this time, I found myself interrupted by the scene created by a family. From what I gathered, the teenage daughter wanted to buy a book on a photo editing software, to complement what she learnt in school, but she wasn’t sure what the software is.

The father was impatient as the girl could not answer his questions, so he started reprimanding her, concluding that this must be due to her not paying attention in class, complained that with her such attitude, she would not go far in life, criticize her for lacking her own opinions, not knowing what she wants, not working hard enough, told her she would end up like her mother with not much success in life, etc. Then he complained that the bookstore was messy, people were not civil minded, did not place book neatly, etc.

Throughout the 15 minutes’ episode, the mother was quiet, and the daughter was left alone to fend off her father’s non-stop complaint and criticism, at times she was sobbing. She was obviously feeling embarrassed, angry and at times, rebellious towards her father.

Many of the shoppers, including me, frowned at the scene, but none of us intervened. I felt sorry for the girl, and the mother. I believe this is a common scene in their home, and I wonder what is in the girl’s mind and what would she grow up to be.

I thought about the Dale Carnegie's principles in the book How to Win Friends & Influence People, and I wonder if I also sometimes criticize, condemn and complain.

Dale Carnegie’s Principles
Don’t criticize, condemn and complain, from the book How to Win Friends & Influence People.

Coca Cola's Mission

This is one of my favorite ZO Cards. All of us should also adopt this as our life mission. Enjoy and have fun!

Living with Passion, Purpose and Peace

The 10 Ancient Rituals of Radiant Living

Ritual of Solitude
Ritual of Physicality
Ritual of Live Nourishment
Ritual of Abundant Knowledge
Ritual of Personal Reflection
Ritual of Early Awakening
Ritual of Music
Ritual of the Spoken Word
Ritual of a Congruent Character
Ritual of Simplicity

I extracted the above from the book, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny, authored by Robin Sharma. I bought this book as early as 5 years ago, but I did not read it until 3 years later. I remember it was one of my friends who strongly recommended that I read this book, as I was feeling uncertain about myself at that time.

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari tells the story of a lawyer forced to confront his out-of-balance life, when he embarks upon an extraordinary journey where he discovers the wisdom to live with passion, purpose, and peace.

The story was very captivating, I remember I couldn’t stop reading the book once I started it – I carried it with me everywhere I went, I read it in the bathroom, I read it before I sleep, I read it while waiting for people and I read it when I was in the park.

The story was extraordinary, thought provoking and yet inspiring. It challenged me to take a hard look at myself, to question my purpose in life, to slow down, to understand happiness, to seek peace within myself, to strike a balance in life, etc.

The above 10 rituals is a constant reminder to me that I need to live a balanced life with purpose and passion. Therefore I have them printed on a paper and pinned it up on the wall that I can see everyday.

Last year, a colleague gave me this book as a Christmas present, not knowing that I have one. Recently I loaned this book to a friend, a few days later, she asked me if she could keep The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari as she really loved it. Of course I said yes.

Sorry, those seats are reserved

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the unpleasant customer service incident I had in one of my favorite restaurants (“Sorry, that section is closed”), and I thought the incident was one-off.

Today, my colleague and I decided to lunch at the same restaurant. When we arrived, to our surprise, the restaurant was half-empty. We requested for a table with sofa seat and this was the response we got, “Sorry, those seats are reserved.”

“You mean all of them are reserved?” I could not believe it as it was already 12:30pm and there were easily 6 or 7 such tables still unoccupied.

“Oh, not really, a few are reserved, the rest we are reserving them for bigger group of customers as now is lunch time peak hour.”

“Ok, so where do you want us to sit?” I thought I should be nice.

The restaurant manager then pointed to a table right at the entrance of the restaurant and in the open space, where there was a stream of people walking pass non-stop.

“Not this one.” This time my colleague got impatient. I was equally upset too, so I suggested that we go somewhere else.

Seeing that we were about to leave, the restaurant manager changed his mind, “Ok, you can sit anywhere you want.”

We sat down, had our lunch. By the time we left an hour later, there were still many tables unoccupied as there were not too many customers walking in after us. It made me wonder if the drop in customers these days is due to the drop in customer service.

I have been patronizing this restaurant since it opened at the beginning of the year. As it provides good food, good service and is located near our workplace, my colleagues and I like to come here for lunch. After today’s incident, the 2nd one in two weeks, I decide to strike this restaurant off my favorite list. I am doubtful I will go back to this restaurant again, definitely not until it improves on its customer service.

My Constant Companion - the ZO Cards!

ZO cards have been my constant companion for many years, and these are some of my favorites.

I love the ZO cards. Over the years, I have collected hundreds of them and those that I like very much are pinned up on the wall, like in this picture.

Each of these cards carries a message – a simple but meaningful message.

My constant companion, the ZO cards, have brightened up my days, motivated me, given me new ideas and helped me to see things from a new perspective. When I am up, they inspired me to seek new challenges and scale new heights. When I am down, they encouraged me to pick myself up and learn from the setback.

Many of these cards carry a story. Perhaps I will share the stories of my constant companion in my subsequent posts. Stay tuned!

Christmas Cards

I bought a box of Christmas cards last week, almost 7 weeks before Christmas Day. This is the first time in many years that I bought the cards early. Normally, I waited till the last minute to get the cards; as a result I did not have much choice as most of the cards would be sold out by then.

It has been my practice to buy Christmas presents for my staff, close colleagues and friends – in appreciation of their support, friendship and contribution.

In the earlier years, I would make my own little gift tags/cards to go with the presents. Over the years, I became lazy – I would just buy the Christmas cards, but I still put in effort in writing meaningful message to every individual, then the message became simpler, after a while the Christmas cards became just simple gift tags, and the message became “Merry Christmas” to everybody. At times, I even used post-it note instead of a proper gift tag.

I know how much it means when a person receives a card with personalized message written on it, as I am also one of the recipients of Christmas gifts. Everytime when I receive such “special” cards, I felt very touched and I would read the message again and again.

So for this year, I decided to start early, not just in buying Christmas cards, but in putting some thoughts into what I want to write on the cards.

I promised myself that I would get my Christmas presents and Christmas cards ready as early as possible, so the next thing that I will do is to draw up a list of people whom I plan to buy presents for!

Finding Joy and Happiness

I was driving along the along the road. The traffic light turned red, I slowed down and prepared to stop.

The sticker on the windscreen of the car in front of me caught my attention. It has a skull on it and the words read “Psychopath on board. Tailgate and die.” I could not help it but burst into laughter.

How interesting. I scanned through other stickers to see if I could find any more interesting ones, unfortunately there wasn’t – only found a Class 95 sticker and a soccer club banner.

When I am on the road, I like to look at the car stickers. Sometimes I would find interesting one like the one I saw today, and many times I would try to visualize how the driver is like by the stickers they put up :-)

These activities that I engaged in kept me awake and made my otherwise boring journey an enjoyable one, and I would normally arrive at my destination with a light-hearted mood.

Joy and happiness is everywhere if you bother to find them. Look no further but around us. Be happy!

Golden Handcuff

“Golden Handcuff” – this term is still lingering in my mind today.

I learnt this term from my ex-boss. You see, we met up for lunch yesterday. As usual, he asked about my plan for my 2nd career, and when I told him that one of my considerations is the performance shares that I have to forgo, he joked that I am handcuffed, golden handcuffed.

I did not feel offended by his joke. Instead, I quite liked this term. How appropriate indeed.

A few days ago, I shared about standing at the crossroads, and this is one of the things that I need to learn to let go, in order for me to move forward in the new route that I have chosen …

The Power of Smile

I walked pass my colleague’s cubicle this morning and saw this poster. The big smiling face caught my attention. Wow, this is really great!

The power of smile! So from this point onwards, smile, smile, smile - smile away your unhappiness and smile away all your troubles. Be generous about smiling, not just to yourself, but to others. Bring joy and happiness to others by giving them a smile.

Happy Smiling!

Dale Carnegie’s Principles
Smile - one of the principles from Dale Carnegie’s book on How to Win Friends & Influence People.

Count Your Blessings - 10 things that I am happy about

There are many happenings everyday, some are good and some are not so good, some make me happy and some make me feel sad. But I have learnt to count my blessings, so here’s my pick for the last few days:

1. Took a break from work a few days ago. Did nothing other than eating, shopping and singing.


2. Received many well wishes and lunch treats from friends and colleagues who remember my birthday.


3. After 2 months of getting my new laptop, finally got the Bluetooth function to work and “talk” to my handphone. Downloaded the photos in the phone.


4. Cooked “Bah Kut Teh” (Herbal Spare Ribs Soup) for my family today, and everybody loved it.


5. Bought a Billabong phone pouch. This is exactly the same one that I lost a few weeks ago, so now my phone has a new “home”.


6. Bought a Nike pencil case – the latest design. Have been looking around to buy one since I gave away my brand new Nike pencil case to my nephew at the beginning of the year.


7. Picked up the pouch for my mini disk from The Wallet Shop – remember the sales girl who had gone the extra mile and made a reservation for me at another outlet?


8. Borrowed 3 books on Blogging from the library – I must be lucky as these books are normally very popular and loaned out most of the time.


9. Enjoyed a good steamboat dinner last evening.


10. Kicked off a new project at work this week. It was a good start.

Count your blessings, not your troubles!

Standing at the Crossroads

“This is one of those rare moments in life when you find yourself looking back on where you have been, while at the same time looking forward to the future.

Behind you are precious memories of experiences that you will never forget, heartfelt emotions that will fade but never disappear, and ideas that will change in form but remain in substance. Ahead of you are new challenges and goals. They may seem mere shadows today, but they will one day be central to your life.

It seems such a paradox to look backward and forward at once, but the significance of any achievement exists in that very contradiction. Without your past, you have nothing on which to build your future. Without the future, your past would have no opportunity to come into full bloom.”

… Pamela Koehlinger

This piece of paper has been pinned on the wall since 2005. I can’t remember where I copied it from. I think it is from one of those quotation books that I bought. I love this poem, because it has more than once, helped me to put things in perspective.

I wrote this poem in the autograph to one of my colleagues when he left the company a few years ago to embark on his 2nd career, a career that is totally different from what he was in then.

Today, I find myself in the same situation. I have been standing at the crossroads for a long time, more than a year in fact. It is not easy standing here – I was once confused, disheartened, discouraged and I felt helpless. But I have gotten over this now, I have learnt to let go, learnt to detach and learnt to look forward. I believe I have now found the route that I want to travel and discovered what I truly want to do in my 2nd half. It has been a long way …

I know what I need to do next, but I am still standing at the crossroads. I look forward to the day that I gather enough courage and determination to let go completely and move on …

Going the Extra Mile in Customer Service

I was at the Wallets Shop in one of the shopping malls. I was looking for a pouch to carry my mini hard disk around, and I was attracted to a black colored pouch printed with very catchy phrase. I loved it and decided to buy it.

I approached the sales girl at the counter, a young girl with a very pleasant smile, for a new piece. After searching through the stock, she apologized, “Sorry, this item had been sold out and we only have that display piece left.” Sensing that I was disappointed, she suggested, “Do you want to consider the red colored one with the same design?”

I said ok, but after looking at it, I did not like it. “Never mind, I think I will try your other outlets.” And I was ready to walk out of the shop.

“Do you want me to check with the other outlets before you go there?”

I was surprised that she offered without me asking, so I said yes. In the end, she managed to find an outlet which has the pouch I wanted and reserved the item for me. I was obviously very pleased with the outcome.

Honestly speaking, while I love the pouch I saw, I may not have bothered to visit other outlets just to get the item, after all, this pouch is a common item that I can find in many other shops, and I am pretty sure I can easily find another design that I like. However, because of the extra mile that this sales girl had gone, I had decided to stick to this design. And this weekend, I will definitely make an effort to pick up the item from the other outlet.

Say Hello and Keep in Touch

An e-mail came in this morning; it was from my ex-boss. I opened it, and here’s what it said, “hello, ain't we supposed to meet for lunch after my travel? how about meeting up this Fri?”

I was surprised, as I did not expect him to remember about this lunch. I wanted to catch up with him in Sep but he was travelling, so he suggested that we meet in end Oct. I said ok and promised to re-arrange when the date gets closer, but when end Oct came, I changed my mind about meeting up with him, thus I did not follow-up.

After reading his e-mail, I drafted a reply to say ok, but I held back, “Do I really want to meet him?”

During lunch time, I mentioned this e-mail to one of my colleagues, and he said, “that’s nice of him, at least you still have a place in his heart.” And because of what he said, I came back from lunch and sent out the e-mail to my ex-boss.

I have to admit it, while I am hesitant to meet up with my ex-boss, I do appreciate him taking the initiative to keep in touch from time to time – a simple email saying hello or asking how’s things, is good enough to warm my heart.

I look around myself, I am indeed grateful that I have many friends who would drop me a hello e-mail or phone call once in a while, send me birthday wishes every year or send me e-card/SMS during festive seasons.

Sometimes, when I received these greetings, I felt guilty, as I am usually not the type taking the initiative to maintain relationship, and yet these friends still remember me. Perhaps all my friends know me too well, thus they still stick with me, haha.

But really, I have no excuse, I know very well that I need to do my part too, so tonight I am going to drop an e-mail to say hello to one of my old friends.

Random Thoughts

I was clearing my desk earlier this morning. Guess what I found? A piece of paper with a few handwritten quotations. Couldn’t remember when I wrote them down and for what purpose. Probably jotted them down when I was looking for some inspiration then. Anyway, the quotations are very meaningful, so reproducing them here for sharing:

“We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do.”

“To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

“Give your best and everything will fall into place.”

“Creation begins with vision.”

“Commitment is a line you must cross … it is the difference between dreaming and doing.”

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.”

The Long Wait for Donuts

Yesterday, I was at the downtown shopping mall where the famous Donut Factory was located. When we walked pass the shop, my friend and I decided to stop by to buy some donuts home for breakfast the next day.

Talking about this Donut Factory, ever since it was opened many months ago, there was always a long queue. At one time, the average waiting time was 2-3 hours, and I had always wondered why people would bother to queue for hours just to buy the donuts.

We joined the queue, mentally preparing ourselves to wait for at least an hour.

I was attracted to the signboard at the beginning of the queue and I walked nearer to have a closer look. I was amused with what was written there. Essentially, the shop appeals to the customers to be patient and cooperative, as they had tried different ways to reduce the waiting time, but so far they had not been able to achieve much success.

Ha, looks like this method works. Everyone in the queue was waiting patiently and engaged in their own activities – SMSing, reading, listening to MP3, talking over the phone or chatting. Nobody seemed to be bothered by the long wait.

After waiting patiently for about 45 minutes, we finally reached the front counter. Woh, this is fantastic, the waiting time was much shorter than we thought. We were eager to place our order, but believe it or not, no one took our order until 5 minutes later – the girl who was serving at the counter was asked to help out in manning the queue and her replacement was nowhere to be seen. The other girl at the counter was busy packing the boxes of donuts for the previous orders.

Finally, another girl arrived, presumably just started her shift work. She apologized, took her time to put on her apron and glove, and started to serve us. By then, we found ourselves feeling agitated and the people standing behind us were getting impatient. It took another 10 minutes before we got our 2 boxes of donuts, as there were a few other hiccups encountered.

When we finally walked away with our donuts, I could not help it but thought about what I read on the signboard … if only that the episode in the last 15 minutes did not happen, I would have been a very satisfied customers - as I managed to get my donuts in less than half the normal waiting time of 2-3 hours!

Good morning, this is your breakfast.

I got out of my car, dragged my feet and walked listlessly towards my office. I felt very sleepy and tired. Today is Friday, but for once, I did not have the TGIF feeling!

Gosh, how am I going to get through the day? I have a few meetings today and I need to get a few pieces of work done by end of the day. Oh no, can someone please help me?

I was staring at my screen when one of my colleagues walked in, “Good morning, this is your breakfast – croissant and apple tea.”

“Thanks! Wow, I only asked for a cup of coffee or tea, but you come with a croissant too. Btw, how do you know what drink to buy for me?”

“I asked the lady at the café. She said you normally drink coffee in the afternoon, and in the morning you will have tea, and apple tea is what you favourite.”

“Hey, thank you.”

This nice gesture from her was definitely a pleasant surprise to me as I did not expect her to take my joke seriously – I told her yesterday that she ought to treat all of us to a cup of coffee/tea since she passed her examination.

All of a sudden, I did not feel sleepy anymore. I felt fully awake and rejuvenated. It was amazing how fast my mood changed. My day went on well despite the hectic schedule I had. At the end of the day, I accomplished what I set out to do today and I felt good.

Today, I was reminded of one very important lesson in life – it is these “little things” that that bring joy and happiness to our life - a friendly smile, the note that says “thank you”, a flower left on your desk, a cup of hot chocolate when you wake up, a birthday wish, a hug from your loved one, etc.

The “little things” that make a great difference!

"Sorry, that section is closed."

One of my favorite restaurants these days is the New York New York restaurant in a newly opened shopping mall. Unfortunately, this place is always crowded during lunch and dinner time.

When I walked pass the restaurant this afternoon, to my pleasant surprise, it was relatively empty. Gone was the crowd and long queue. Hmm, perhaps it is still early, perhaps it is school examination period and perhaps many people are also away on holiday.

My friend wanted a quiet place that we can have our meal and chat, so I suggested this restaurant. We walked in, and I told the waiter that we would like to sit at the sofa seat at the far corner.

He looked at me and he said, “Sorry, that section is closed.”

“Closed, why?”

“We close it during lunch time and concentrate on this section. Why don’t you sit here?” He pointed to a seat which was just 5-6 seats away from the corner seat that I wanted, but this seat faced the escalator.

I was puzzled and I mumbled, “Well, when the crowd comes in later, you will still have to open that section anyway, so why can’t we sit there? This seat faces the escalator, I think I will get dizzy after a while with all the people movement.” But, I did not insist, instead I moved towards the seat that he wanted us to be at.

Just when we were about to sit down, he changed his mind, “Okie, you can sit there.” “What?” “Oh, you can sit at that corner”, he repeated.

As I was engaged in a conversation with my friend, I did not bother to ask him why he changed his mind.

I sat down but my mind was replaying this episode that just happened. I recalled reading in the newspaper this morning that “Singapore is now ranked 15th in customer service, a marked improvement over the previous year.”

Till now, I am still trying to make sense out of what I had read this morning and what had happened in the restaurant …