I saw a woodgrain journal at the bookstore last weekend and fell in love with it immediately. I couldn’t resist the temptation to buy it, especially with encouragement from my friend who was with me at that time.
I have lost count of the number of journals that I have. Everytime when I go to the bookstores or stationery shops, I will always browse through the section that sells the journals. As a result, I have collected a number of them – I bought most of them and a few were given to me as Christmas presents.
I must confess that for some reasons I have a soft spot for these journals. When I was a little child, I love to collect these journals but of course, the design of the journals then was a lot simpler and it costs only a fraction of today’s price.
What do I use these journals for?
When I was much younger, I used them to capture the quotations that I came across or new words that I learnt. Occasionally, I would write journal – to capture the happenings in the day or my thoughts and reflections. Then I stopped using them to capture quotations as quotations were subsequently available in printed books (and I ended up collected different quotation books). I still wrote journal then, but less frequent. It was only in the recent years that I picked up the habit of writing journals again.
I was inspired by James, one of my ex-colleagues. He used to carry his journal everywhere he went, and he captured everything in his journal, be it official notes or just his thoughts. I recalled he shared with us his journey in journaling and how journaling had helped him. At that time, I was also attending a programme where our “teacher” encouraged us to cultivate the habit of reflection and keeping track of our thoughts, as part of our self-discovery journey. So I started writing journal on and off since then.
Now that I have written journals for a few years, I realised that journaling could be quite therapeutic which in turn help me to exercise more self-control. So it is not surprising that when I read my past journal not, I noticed I had written a lot more when I was down.
The process of journaling helps to stimulate my mind, body and heart, allows me to capture my thoughts, forces me to reflect, examines my beliefs, checks my emotion, etc. As a result, I am able to understand myself better, have better clarity of who I am, where I came from and where am I heading.
It has been a enriching self-discovery journey since I started journaling.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
That $10 note
A few days ago, I attended a seminar. The speaker asked, “What should you do next after attending the seminar?” Unanimously everybody replied “Take action!” He did not believe us and he wanted to test it out. He took out a $10 note from his wallet, and immediately I knew what he wanted to do. So I said to myself quietly, “I will get the $10 note this time.”
The speaker waved the $10 note in the air, “I am giving this $10 note away. Who wants it?” The hall was in complete silent and nobody moved. I hesitated, also did not move.
“Ok, let me repeat. I will give this $10 note to the first person who comes forward”. I hesitated for two seconds and decided to get up, but one guy was slightly ahead of me and the speaker handed the $10 note to him. The speaker smiled at me, “Why are you so slow?”
“Only 2 of you came forward. What about the rest of you? Why are you sitting there?”
The message from the speaker was loud and clear – all of the people know that they need to take action, but most will just talk about taking action, some will take action, a few will take immediate action, and only a handful will sustain till they achieve their goals.
I came across this $10 activity many times in different seminars or training sessions over the years, and I learnt different lessons each time:
- 1st time – I did not get up from my seat as I did not believe that the speaker was serious about giving the money away. I learnt about my belief system and what mental model is.
- 2nd time – I knew about the trick but I still did not get up as I was too shy to go to the front stage and afraid to be laughed at. I learnt that I care too much about how others see me and I am not a risk taker.
- 3rd time – I did not think I stand a chance as I was seated quite far back, so I did not even bother to try. I learnt that sometimes I give up even before I start as I am deterred by the obstacles lying ahead.
- 4th time – this time I was seated at the first few rows but I still did not get up as I thought the 10 stake was just too small. I learnt that motivation is important and I am one who is motivated by challenging goals.
- 5th, 6th, 7th and … - I did nothing as the $10 activity meant nothing to me anymore. I learnt that I have this “I think I know it all” attitude and my mind had been conditioned not to respond anymore.
This time round when the game was played, I made up my mind that I would take the $10 note away from the speaker and this decision prompted me into action. Unfortunately, I “paid the price” for that few seconds’ hesitation and ended up with nothing.
What’s the lesson I learnt? Once I make up my mind, take action immediately. Opportunities do not wait for me and if I hesitate or procrastinate, they will be gone!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Decision helps us start. Discipline helps us finish.
It has been a busy 1st week in 2008 – both at home and at work. I wanted to find some quiet time for myself – to reflect on 2007 and to plan for 2008, but have not been able to do so. I finally managed to do it this morning while the workshop is going on :-)
I look at the 2 mind maps that I have drawn up – one for 2007 and one for 2008. I have not completed them yet, especially for the 2007 as I could not recall much about what I had done and what goals I had set for myself, but when I look at the 2008 mind map, all I could say is I am too ambitious. There are just too much that I want to do, some are new goals and some are brought forward from 2007.
When I look at some of the goals that are brought forward from 2007, I feel guilty. A year ago, when I first set them as my goals, I was very enthusiastic and determined to achieve them, so I started to work towards them and track my progress regularly. After a while, my enthusiasm died down, I spent less and less time and finally they got squeezed out of my radar screen.
When the year end got closer, I then realized that there was not much time left, and I regretted not having enough discipline. When the new year began, I asked myself if these goals were still relevant, and the answer was yes, so the goals remained on my list.
This year, I decide to do it differently as I do not want to feel miserable at the end of the year that I have not achieved my goals. I am not prepared to drop any of these goals even though some of them have been on my list for many years, so what I plan to do is to prioritize my goals and focus on those top priority ones (or what I call KPIs). At the end of the year, as long as I achieve these KPIs, I will consider it as targets achieved. Anything more than these KPIs will be a bonus to me.
Well, I do recognize that at the end of the day, what is important is I must have the discipline to finish what I start. While I can identify a few KPIs, but if I do not have the discipline to follow through, at the end of the year I will still be lamenting about not achieving my goals.
The following is what I wrote on the board to remind myself about my commitment:
“Decision helps us start. Decision helps us finish. Start early, start small, start now!”
I look at the 2 mind maps that I have drawn up – one for 2007 and one for 2008. I have not completed them yet, especially for the 2007 as I could not recall much about what I had done and what goals I had set for myself, but when I look at the 2008 mind map, all I could say is I am too ambitious. There are just too much that I want to do, some are new goals and some are brought forward from 2007.
When I look at some of the goals that are brought forward from 2007, I feel guilty. A year ago, when I first set them as my goals, I was very enthusiastic and determined to achieve them, so I started to work towards them and track my progress regularly. After a while, my enthusiasm died down, I spent less and less time and finally they got squeezed out of my radar screen.
When the year end got closer, I then realized that there was not much time left, and I regretted not having enough discipline. When the new year began, I asked myself if these goals were still relevant, and the answer was yes, so the goals remained on my list.
This year, I decide to do it differently as I do not want to feel miserable at the end of the year that I have not achieved my goals. I am not prepared to drop any of these goals even though some of them have been on my list for many years, so what I plan to do is to prioritize my goals and focus on those top priority ones (or what I call KPIs). At the end of the year, as long as I achieve these KPIs, I will consider it as targets achieved. Anything more than these KPIs will be a bonus to me.
Well, I do recognize that at the end of the day, what is important is I must have the discipline to finish what I start. While I can identify a few KPIs, but if I do not have the discipline to follow through, at the end of the year I will still be lamenting about not achieving my goals.
The following is what I wrote on the board to remind myself about my commitment:
“Decision helps us start. Decision helps us finish. Start early, start small, start now!”
Monday, January 7, 2008
Keeping in Touch
Last Friday, I had lunch with Jack, one of my ex-colleagues. He wanted to thank me for acting as his referee for his new job, thus he gave me a lunch treat.
It was nice meeting up with him and I truly appreciate his effort in arranging for the lunch. Since he left the company, we have kept in touch through e-mail and SMS, and this was the first time that we met up. We had a nice chat while enjoying the food.
The lunch reminded me of the other 3 meals I had in the last one month – 2 with my old friends and the other one with a group of ex-colleagues. The feeling of catching up was really great and I am glad that I made an effort to meet up with them. Truly enjoy the fun, laughter, gossips, jokes, etc. They really made my day! Ha, I also discovered that TCC serves good food other than good coffee, and I finally visited Dempsey Hill – a place that I had always wanted to check out.
When I reflect on these get-togethers I had, I am really grateful that I still have friends around me after all these years. I am thankful to those friends who made an effort to organize the event and I am glad to say that I did my part too. Of course, there are friends whom I would like to meet up more frequent and friends that I have lost touch, it is therefore my commitment in 2008 that I would make a conscious effort to maintain the friendship that I have, especially those that I treasure a lot.
It was nice meeting up with him and I truly appreciate his effort in arranging for the lunch. Since he left the company, we have kept in touch through e-mail and SMS, and this was the first time that we met up. We had a nice chat while enjoying the food.
The lunch reminded me of the other 3 meals I had in the last one month – 2 with my old friends and the other one with a group of ex-colleagues. The feeling of catching up was really great and I am glad that I made an effort to meet up with them. Truly enjoy the fun, laughter, gossips, jokes, etc. They really made my day! Ha, I also discovered that TCC serves good food other than good coffee, and I finally visited Dempsey Hill – a place that I had always wanted to check out.
When I reflect on these get-togethers I had, I am really grateful that I still have friends around me after all these years. I am thankful to those friends who made an effort to organize the event and I am glad to say that I did my part too. Of course, there are friends whom I would like to meet up more frequent and friends that I have lost touch, it is therefore my commitment in 2008 that I would make a conscious effort to maintain the friendship that I have, especially those that I treasure a lot.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Not the usual New Year's Resolution
Today is the 2nd calendar day of 2008, 1st working day of 2008, yet I do not feel like I have crossed the year. Unlike the previous years where I normally spent the last few days of the “old” year and 1st few days of the “new” year on reflection and planning, this year the crossover was just like any other normal day.
So I thought I should spend the morning on reflection and planning for the new year, but I was swamped by work – phone calls, e-mails, etc.
Nevertheless, I told myself that no matter what, I must still set myself a few key goals within these few days, not the usual new year resolution (which will not be kept anyway), but some goals that will guide me towards living my desired 2nd half.
Here's my initial thoughts on the top 5 goals (subject to changes of course, haha):
1) Manage my personal finance better – apply what I learnt from the Millionaire Mind Intensive seminar by T Harv Eker. One area that I am committed to pick up is stock investment. The other area is finding my niche area in the internet marketing space.
2) Attain the professional qualifications that are relevant and key to my 2nd career – have identified 3-4 relevant qualifications in total. Started one of them last year, but have not completed it as I kept procrastinating! The other one is one that I have put off for years!
3) Active networking, expand both my social and professional circle, get to know a few of my new friends better. Participate actively and enthusiastically in the alumni and professional society that I am currently in – at least 1-2 activities per month.
4) Spend time in nurturing my body, mind and soul. Live a healthy lifestyle, get in touch with the nature, attend to my garden, read at least 2 books per month, attend 4 self-improvement seminar, etc. There is a whole lot that I want to achieve here, but think I need to focus and be more specific :-)
5) Community involvement - contribute something back to the society, going beyond the “bread delivery routine”
Most important of all, I am committed to develop a deeper level of understanding of my life purpose and my 2nd half.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Letting Go
Office party was held this morning but I was not in a mood for it. Last week on the Christmas’ Eve, I wasn’t in a mood to celebrate and today on New Year’s Eve, the feeling is the same.
This is the 2nd year that I feel this way. In the past, I would make it a point to participate and encourage my colleagues to join in, but somehow I don’t feel this way anymore. Gone were the days that I am enthusiastic and excited about every happening in my work place.
Why the change? I don’t really know. Perhaps I am now at a different stage in my life, perhaps I am disappointed by the changes in the recent years, perhaps the people whom I am closed to are no longer around, perhaps my passion has shifted somewhere else or perhaps I have learnt to let go …
2-3 years ago, I was faced with a tough decision. I was offered a good opportunity elsewhere and I was considering leaving my job, but I found it extremely difficult to let go. I was then very attached to my job, my colleagues, my company and many other things - I felt guilty about leaving my team behind, I felt bad about “betraying” my bosses who had taken good care of me and helped me to grow professionally all these years, I couldn’t bear to leave my colleagues and the many footprints I left in the company, etc. So in the end, I stayed.
Today, to a great extent, I have succeeded in detaching myself from the job and the company. I have learnt to let go of the many things that I used to hold tied to. I no longer put my job in the center of my life at the expense of everything else. I no longer feel uptight when things are not smooth sailing, I no longer feel hurt when someone pass negative remarks, I no longer see the need to prove myself or climb the corporate ladder.
It has been a long process, but slowly and gradually, I let go. The toughest part is letting go of the emotional ties that I have built over the years, especially with the people that I have strong bond with. As the day goes by, the ties get weaker and I get stronger in handling this “separation”.
Looking back, the biggest difference now is, I have managed to detach myself from my job. As a result, I am a “free” person - in many ways. I am happier, more at peace with myself, more certain of what lies ahead of me and more ready to move on…
I am not attached to my past.
It lies behind me, a distant shore.
I am not attached to the world.
I glide over its surface.
I release all holds to hold onto me.
Having myself, I am safe, I am free.
... by David Viscott from the book “Finding Your Strengths in Life”
This is the 2nd year that I feel this way. In the past, I would make it a point to participate and encourage my colleagues to join in, but somehow I don’t feel this way anymore. Gone were the days that I am enthusiastic and excited about every happening in my work place.
Why the change? I don’t really know. Perhaps I am now at a different stage in my life, perhaps I am disappointed by the changes in the recent years, perhaps the people whom I am closed to are no longer around, perhaps my passion has shifted somewhere else or perhaps I have learnt to let go …
2-3 years ago, I was faced with a tough decision. I was offered a good opportunity elsewhere and I was considering leaving my job, but I found it extremely difficult to let go. I was then very attached to my job, my colleagues, my company and many other things - I felt guilty about leaving my team behind, I felt bad about “betraying” my bosses who had taken good care of me and helped me to grow professionally all these years, I couldn’t bear to leave my colleagues and the many footprints I left in the company, etc. So in the end, I stayed.
Today, to a great extent, I have succeeded in detaching myself from the job and the company. I have learnt to let go of the many things that I used to hold tied to. I no longer put my job in the center of my life at the expense of everything else. I no longer feel uptight when things are not smooth sailing, I no longer feel hurt when someone pass negative remarks, I no longer see the need to prove myself or climb the corporate ladder.
It has been a long process, but slowly and gradually, I let go. The toughest part is letting go of the emotional ties that I have built over the years, especially with the people that I have strong bond with. As the day goes by, the ties get weaker and I get stronger in handling this “separation”.
Looking back, the biggest difference now is, I have managed to detach myself from my job. As a result, I am a “free” person - in many ways. I am happier, more at peace with myself, more certain of what lies ahead of me and more ready to move on…
I am not attached to my past.
It lies behind me, a distant shore.
I am not attached to the world.
I glide over its surface.
I release all holds to hold onto me.
Having myself, I am safe, I am free.
... by David Viscott from the book “Finding Your Strengths in Life”
Friday, December 28, 2007
Gloria Jean's Coffee Mug
This is the Christmas present that I picked for myself. I went Christmas shopping last weekend and saw this at the Gloria Jean’s coffee outlet, so I told my friend who was with me that I actually did not mind having this as Christmas present – that’s how I got this thermos coffee mug.
Needless to say, this is the best Christmas present I received this year, amongst those chocolates, books, toiletries, decorative items, calendar, CD/VCD, etc.
Why do I want this coffee mug as Christmas present? I was inspired by LP, one of my colleagues. Very often, I would bump into her, holding a mug filled with coffee bought from the office cafeteria.
Initially, I did not know what she was up to, so I asked her. “Hey, why are you with this cup every morning?”
“Buy coffee. I don’t want to waste the paper cups, so I bring my own mug.” She replied.
“Oh, I see.” I then recall that LP is an environment friendly person, and I salute her for thoughtfulness. She made me feel guilty, as I throw away at least 1-2 paper cups everyday. Therefore when I saw this coffee mug, immediately I recalled my conversation with LP and my commitment to do likewise. And so … I got my mug, a Gloria Jean’s thermos coffee mug.
I talked about The Starfish Story yesterday, and LP reminded me that if everyone of us put in that little extra effort in taking good care of the environment that we live in, collectively we can make a difference to this planet.
Be a starfish thrower. When we become throwers of the starfish, we have the power to change the world.
Needless to say, this is the best Christmas present I received this year, amongst those chocolates, books, toiletries, decorative items, calendar, CD/VCD, etc.
Why do I want this coffee mug as Christmas present? I was inspired by LP, one of my colleagues. Very often, I would bump into her, holding a mug filled with coffee bought from the office cafeteria.
Initially, I did not know what she was up to, so I asked her. “Hey, why are you with this cup every morning?”
“Buy coffee. I don’t want to waste the paper cups, so I bring my own mug.” She replied.
“Oh, I see.” I then recall that LP is an environment friendly person, and I salute her for thoughtfulness. She made me feel guilty, as I throw away at least 1-2 paper cups everyday. Therefore when I saw this coffee mug, immediately I recalled my conversation with LP and my commitment to do likewise. And so … I got my mug, a Gloria Jean’s thermos coffee mug.
I talked about The Starfish Story yesterday, and LP reminded me that if everyone of us put in that little extra effort in taking good care of the environment that we live in, collectively we can make a difference to this planet.
Be a starfish thrower. When we become throwers of the starfish, we have the power to change the world.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
The Starfish Story
The Starfish Story
(adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley)
One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.
Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”
The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”
“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!”
“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!”
After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”I made a difference for that one.”
I decided to carry on with the charity work that I have been involved in since 2003 – picking up bread from the designated confectionary outlets and send them to the old folks home. I made this decision after visiting the website of the charity organization a few days ago. At that time, I did not know why I made that decision, I just knew that I have to continue. Two days ago, I found the answer. It was the Starfish story.
For many years, together with a friend, we help to deliver bread to the old folks home. This is a routine on Friday evenings. Other than when we were overseas, we had never failed in fulfilling this commitment. I am indeed proud that I am able to stick to this routine, week in and week out. But, things change in the recent months. Somehow, I no longer find meaning in this routine anymore and the thought of quitting crossed my mind.
Since 2003 when I first started my voluntary work, I have never visited the website of this charity organization. A few evenings ago, while surfing the net, I just decided to take a look, and that few minutes of browsing prompted me to reconsider my decision to quit.
I first came across the starfish story 16 years ago. Since then it has guided me, in many things that I do and in many decisions that I make. The story is a constant reminder to me that we have the power within us to make a difference in this world, no matter how small or how insignificant it may seem to be. Just like in my job, because of the belief that I can make a difference in my organization, I had been able to keep my passion flying high, sustain my enthusiasm, go against all odds at times and deliver many difficult projects … unfortunately I have lost this belief in the recent 1-2 years.
Visiting the website of the charity organization gave me a different perspective of my involvement. I saw the big picture, the vision of the organization, what other volunteers are doing and how I fit in – I found the meaning of my “bread delivery routine”. I am the starfish thrower in the story, and there are many starfish throwers helping in this charity organization. Every starfish that we save make a difference, and all these small efforts eventually add up to make a big difference in this world.
Therefore I have decided not to quit but to continue … when we become throwers of the starfish, we have the power to change the world.
I decided to carry on with the charity work that I have been involved in since 2003 – picking up bread from the designated confectionary outlets and send them to the old folks home. I made this decision after visiting the website of the charity organization a few days ago. At that time, I did not know why I made that decision, I just knew that I have to continue. Two days ago, I found the answer. It was the Starfish story.
For many years, together with a friend, we help to deliver bread to the old folks home. This is a routine on Friday evenings. Other than when we were overseas, we had never failed in fulfilling this commitment. I am indeed proud that I am able to stick to this routine, week in and week out. But, things change in the recent months. Somehow, I no longer find meaning in this routine anymore and the thought of quitting crossed my mind.
Since 2003 when I first started my voluntary work, I have never visited the website of this charity organization. A few evenings ago, while surfing the net, I just decided to take a look, and that few minutes of browsing prompted me to reconsider my decision to quit.
I first came across the starfish story 16 years ago. Since then it has guided me, in many things that I do and in many decisions that I make. The story is a constant reminder to me that we have the power within us to make a difference in this world, no matter how small or how insignificant it may seem to be. Just like in my job, because of the belief that I can make a difference in my organization, I had been able to keep my passion flying high, sustain my enthusiasm, go against all odds at times and deliver many difficult projects … unfortunately I have lost this belief in the recent 1-2 years.
Visiting the website of the charity organization gave me a different perspective of my involvement. I saw the big picture, the vision of the organization, what other volunteers are doing and how I fit in – I found the meaning of my “bread delivery routine”. I am the starfish thrower in the story, and there are many starfish throwers helping in this charity organization. Every starfish that we save make a difference, and all these small efforts eventually add up to make a big difference in this world.
Therefore I have decided not to quit but to continue … when we become throwers of the starfish, we have the power to change the world.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
All the Way from Tasmania, Australia
“Honey from the Lavender Farm, Chocolates from the Cadbury Factory, all the way from Tasmania. Well, the nougats are from the Airport."
I walked into the office today, and saw this note on my desk. Huh, I must have missed it yesterday. I came back to my desk after meeting yesterday, and I saw a bottle of honey, chocolates and nougats, and I wondered who placed them here. Anyway, I was hungry (or greedy) and ate 2 of the nougats.
Today, the mystery is solved. The things were from one of my colleagues who had just come back from a holiday in Australia.
From time to time, I would find food, tidbits, souvenirs or gifts on my desk. I knew they were from colleagues around me, but sometimes I really had no clues who gave it to me as the person did not leave behind his/her name, and when I asked around, nobody knew.
Without fail, these little things that I receive always bring me smile, warm my heart and sweeten my day. I am grateful that there are colleagues and friends who will remember me even when they are far away.
These little things mean a lot to me, and I am sure they mean a lot to many of you too. Therefore, it is important that we make that extra bit of effort to focus on them, so as to bring joy and happiness to people around us.
It is my commitment that in the year to come, I would pay more attention in this area, and the immediate thing that I need to do is to get all my Christmas presents ready for next week.
I walked into the office today, and saw this note on my desk. Huh, I must have missed it yesterday. I came back to my desk after meeting yesterday, and I saw a bottle of honey, chocolates and nougats, and I wondered who placed them here. Anyway, I was hungry (or greedy) and ate 2 of the nougats.
Today, the mystery is solved. The things were from one of my colleagues who had just come back from a holiday in Australia.
From time to time, I would find food, tidbits, souvenirs or gifts on my desk. I knew they were from colleagues around me, but sometimes I really had no clues who gave it to me as the person did not leave behind his/her name, and when I asked around, nobody knew.
Without fail, these little things that I receive always bring me smile, warm my heart and sweeten my day. I am grateful that there are colleagues and friends who will remember me even when they are far away.
These little things mean a lot to me, and I am sure they mean a lot to many of you too. Therefore, it is important that we make that extra bit of effort to focus on them, so as to bring joy and happiness to people around us.
It is my commitment that in the year to come, I would pay more attention in this area, and the immediate thing that I need to do is to get all my Christmas presents ready for next week.
Friday, December 14, 2007
It is your choice
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."
I bumped into Nigel during lunch time. He is one of the trainers for the course that I attended end of last year. He was casually dressed and he told me he was there as his sister stays nearby. We chatted for a short while, and he asked if I were going back to the office.
I replied, “Yes, I have to as I am still an employee.” He looked at me, “It’s your choice.” I did not protest, smiled but still tried to justify. “Well, I will definitely get out next year.” And we parted.
Last year, when I attended the course, I told everybody in the class that my next step is to quit my job and be a freelance professional trainer, and I gave myself a timeframe of one year. Now that one year is up, I am still with my job, so everytime when I met my trainers or classmates, they would remind me of my plan. Whenever I bumped into friends or ex-colleagues who had left their jobs and became trainers, I would envy them and admire their guts in making the change.
Choice, it is my choice. I am fully aware of this. For me to fulfill my dream to be a professional trainer, I will have to take charge, make a choice that will bring me there. If I choose to stay put and do nothing, I should not expect a different outcome.
So it is my commitment that I will choose differently, little by little everyday, so that I could progress along my chosen path and have a new experience.
Choose differently today.
I bumped into Nigel during lunch time. He is one of the trainers for the course that I attended end of last year. He was casually dressed and he told me he was there as his sister stays nearby. We chatted for a short while, and he asked if I were going back to the office.
I replied, “Yes, I have to as I am still an employee.” He looked at me, “It’s your choice.” I did not protest, smiled but still tried to justify. “Well, I will definitely get out next year.” And we parted.
Last year, when I attended the course, I told everybody in the class that my next step is to quit my job and be a freelance professional trainer, and I gave myself a timeframe of one year. Now that one year is up, I am still with my job, so everytime when I met my trainers or classmates, they would remind me of my plan. Whenever I bumped into friends or ex-colleagues who had left their jobs and became trainers, I would envy them and admire their guts in making the change.
Choice, it is my choice. I am fully aware of this. For me to fulfill my dream to be a professional trainer, I will have to take charge, make a choice that will bring me there. If I choose to stay put and do nothing, I should not expect a different outcome.
So it is my commitment that I will choose differently, little by little everyday, so that I could progress along my chosen path and have a new experience.
Choose differently today.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Wonderful memories from my Japan trip
“Hey, how was your holiday?” A colleague asked me about my trip this morning.
“Ok, so-so, not that fantastic.” After I replied, I then realised that I have been giving the same reply to this question posed to me in the last few days.
“Is this a fair assessment of the trip?” I asked. Definitely not. The truth is, while I did not quite like some parts of my trip, I had also enjoyed some parts of the trip and there were many “little things” that warmth my heart. Here’s a few that I would like to keep in my memory:
1) Watching sunrise from my hotel room (“A beautiful morning”)
2) The nice people that I came across – the tour guide, tour leader, the new friends I made, the sales people in the department store, the waiters and waitresses in the restaurants, the strangers on the road, etc. Despite the language barriers, all the people in Japan are patient, helpful, friendly and courteous. Ha, I had also learnt to bow a lot in the 6 days there :-)
3) 2 year ago, I ate my first Japanese ramen in Hokkaido, and since then ramen has become one of my favorite food. Unfortunately I have not been able to find ramen of similar quality in Singapore. So since day 1, I had been asking where could I find a ramen restaurant, and finally on the last day I found it.
4) Really love the supermarkets in Japan, especially the snacks section where we could sample different types of local snacks. Do you believe it, all in all I brought home half-a-luggage full of Japanese snacks!
5) A teenage boy in our tour group who is autistic. He and his family gave me the opportunity to understand autism better. In addition, he made me realized the importance of being truthful to oneself and others.
6) Two tour mates offered me their member cards at the Hard Rock café and the airport duty free shop respectively, so that I could enjoy the member privilege discounts. In fact, one of them saw me in the shop from a distant away and walked all the way to ask if I were buying something from the shop, and if yes, she could help me to pay first.
7) There was a family of 5 with 3 young children. The little boy, aged 7, liked to run loose when his parents took care of their other 2 kids. Without fail, there would always be someone in the group who looked out for him and made sure that he did not get lost or run into trouble. The true spirit of teamwork!
8) Last but not least, just doing nothing but strolling down the small lanes in Japan leisurely, seeing, feeling and experiencing the local culture. No rush and no stress!
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Nice gesture from a gentleman
I did not expect the place to be so packed and the car park was full. After circling around for 2 times, I decided to stay put at one spot and wait for an empty lot.
I was lucky, when I drove into one of the lanes, there wasn’t any cars waiting, which means I had the top priority as soon as any car moves out of the parking lot. After 5 minutes, there was still no sign of any cars leaving. However, a white Honda CR-V had joined me in the queue waiting. A few more minutes had passed and there was still no movement. I was getting impatient.
I looked into my rear view window, and was surprised to find that the Honda CR-V was reversing into an empty lot.
“How could we have missed it?” Both my friend and I could not believe that we actually did not see a car leaving the parking lot.
“Well, since we did not see it, we just have to wait for the next empty lot. We can’t possibly ask the driver to let us have the lot, right?” We blamed ourselves for not paying attention, and continued with our conversation.
“Knock Knock.” Suddenly a man appeared next to our car and knocked at the window. I couldn’t figure out what he was saying, so I wind down the window.
“Excuse me, are you waiting for a parking lot?” The man pointed to the Honda CR-V, and asked politely with a smile. It was then that I realized he was the driver of the Honda. “Yes”, I replied.
“Oh okie, I will drive my car out and let you have the lot.” I could not believe what I heard, so I asked, “Are you sure you don’t want the lot?”
“Sure. The parking lot was yours to begin with. In fact, I sounded my car horn at you to tell you there is an empty lot, but you probably did not hear it. I’ll go and move my car out now.”
“You sure you don’t want the lot?” At that point, I was just too stunned and all that I could respond was to seek confirmation that he did not want the parking lot.
“Sure.” I thanked him, and he went back to his car and vacated the parking lot for me.
“It is unbelievable that there are actually such nice people in this world.” My friend and I echoed each other’s feeling.
I felt really good and had a nice evening. Thank you, Mr Gentleman, your nice gesture made my day!
I was lucky, when I drove into one of the lanes, there wasn’t any cars waiting, which means I had the top priority as soon as any car moves out of the parking lot. After 5 minutes, there was still no sign of any cars leaving. However, a white Honda CR-V had joined me in the queue waiting. A few more minutes had passed and there was still no movement. I was getting impatient.
I looked into my rear view window, and was surprised to find that the Honda CR-V was reversing into an empty lot.
“How could we have missed it?” Both my friend and I could not believe that we actually did not see a car leaving the parking lot.
“Well, since we did not see it, we just have to wait for the next empty lot. We can’t possibly ask the driver to let us have the lot, right?” We blamed ourselves for not paying attention, and continued with our conversation.
“Knock Knock.” Suddenly a man appeared next to our car and knocked at the window. I couldn’t figure out what he was saying, so I wind down the window.
“Excuse me, are you waiting for a parking lot?” The man pointed to the Honda CR-V, and asked politely with a smile. It was then that I realized he was the driver of the Honda. “Yes”, I replied.
“Oh okie, I will drive my car out and let you have the lot.” I could not believe what I heard, so I asked, “Are you sure you don’t want the lot?”
“Sure. The parking lot was yours to begin with. In fact, I sounded my car horn at you to tell you there is an empty lot, but you probably did not hear it. I’ll go and move my car out now.”
“You sure you don’t want the lot?” At that point, I was just too stunned and all that I could respond was to seek confirmation that he did not want the parking lot.
“Sure.” I thanked him, and he went back to his car and vacated the parking lot for me.
“It is unbelievable that there are actually such nice people in this world.” My friend and I echoed each other’s feeling.
I felt really good and had a nice evening. Thank you, Mr Gentleman, your nice gesture made my day!
Friday, December 7, 2007
Take a break
I was at Japan Fukuoka airport, checked in but still have time to spare, so killing time by doing last minute shopping at the airport shops. I wanted to buy something for myself, but after 3 shops, I still could not find anything I like.
“Can you believe it? I bought nothing for myself this trip.” I complained to my friend. I packed my luggage last night and realized all the things I bought are for others, and none for me.
“Well, the fact that you came for this trip is already a reward for yourself.” That was the reply I got.
How true. I may not have bought anything for myself, which is unusual, but I did give myself a week off and took a holiday in Japan – giving my body and mind a well deserved rest.
In the last few days, 6 days to be exact, I caught up with my sleep, finished reading a book, took many photographs and tested my new camera. In addition, I experienced a different culture, made a few new friends, tried new food, got in touch with the nature, watched sunrise, etc. All these are what I have always wanted to do but find it challenging to get out of my routine in normal days to do them.
So this holiday allowed me to break away from my daily routine, gave me the opportunity to do those things that I have always wanted to do, see the world and experience a different lifestyle.
I wish I could do this more in the future :-)
“Can you believe it? I bought nothing for myself this trip.” I complained to my friend. I packed my luggage last night and realized all the things I bought are for others, and none for me.
“Well, the fact that you came for this trip is already a reward for yourself.” That was the reply I got.
How true. I may not have bought anything for myself, which is unusual, but I did give myself a week off and took a holiday in Japan – giving my body and mind a well deserved rest.
In the last few days, 6 days to be exact, I caught up with my sleep, finished reading a book, took many photographs and tested my new camera. In addition, I experienced a different culture, made a few new friends, tried new food, got in touch with the nature, watched sunrise, etc. All these are what I have always wanted to do but find it challenging to get out of my routine in normal days to do them.
So this holiday allowed me to break away from my daily routine, gave me the opportunity to do those things that I have always wanted to do, see the world and experience a different lifestyle.
I wish I could do this more in the future :-)
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
The 90/10 Secret
I blew my top this morning, over an incident that happened at home!
I was so affected by the incident that I carried the anger with me even when I was driving to work. My mind was focused on the incident and all the things that this person had done wrong in the past.
I then thought about all the bad things that happened in the last one week, and I lamented about what a lousy week I have. I could feel the frown on my forehead, the angry expression on my face and the tension building up inside me.
My car audio was playing a music CD – Colors of a New Dawn
by Gandalf, one of my favourite artists. The soothing and relaxing music must have calmed me. I asked myself, “Why do I get so upset? The incident is really no big deal.” The moment I asked myself this question, the negative thought stopped.
I reflected on what happened and could not believe that I reacted so strongly to a minor incident. I recalled a 90/10 story that a friend sent me sometime ago – a secret that can change our life. Everytime when I over-reacted to a problem, situation or incident, somehow this story would enter my mind after I cooled down.
What is this 90/10 secret that can change our life? 10% of life is made up of what happens to us. 90% of life is decided by how we react to what happens to us.
What does this mean? We have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop others from saying something negative about us and we cannot stop the train from arriving late. But the other 90% is different. We control the other 90%! How? By our reaction to the 10%. So what if someone says something negative about me, I don’t care! So what if we are 10 minutes like, no one notice anyway!
Just like this morning, the incident had happened, which I had no control over, but I could have controlled my reaction, by not getting angry with the person and subsequently feeling sorry for myself!
Yes, we can control how we react to what happens around us! Remember the 90/10 secret, do not worry about small matters and we will change our life!
As a matter of fact, I have a good day today. I feel relaxed, I was focused and I accomplished what I set out to do today.
I was so affected by the incident that I carried the anger with me even when I was driving to work. My mind was focused on the incident and all the things that this person had done wrong in the past.
I then thought about all the bad things that happened in the last one week, and I lamented about what a lousy week I have. I could feel the frown on my forehead, the angry expression on my face and the tension building up inside me.
My car audio was playing a music CD – Colors of a New Dawn
by Gandalf, one of my favourite artists. The soothing and relaxing music must have calmed me. I asked myself, “Why do I get so upset? The incident is really no big deal.” The moment I asked myself this question, the negative thought stopped.I reflected on what happened and could not believe that I reacted so strongly to a minor incident. I recalled a 90/10 story that a friend sent me sometime ago – a secret that can change our life. Everytime when I over-reacted to a problem, situation or incident, somehow this story would enter my mind after I cooled down.
What is this 90/10 secret that can change our life? 10% of life is made up of what happens to us. 90% of life is decided by how we react to what happens to us.
What does this mean? We have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop others from saying something negative about us and we cannot stop the train from arriving late. But the other 90% is different. We control the other 90%! How? By our reaction to the 10%. So what if someone says something negative about me, I don’t care! So what if we are 10 minutes like, no one notice anyway!
Just like this morning, the incident had happened, which I had no control over, but I could have controlled my reaction, by not getting angry with the person and subsequently feeling sorry for myself!
Yes, we can control how we react to what happens around us! Remember the 90/10 secret, do not worry about small matters and we will change our life!
As a matter of fact, I have a good day today. I feel relaxed, I was focused and I accomplished what I set out to do today.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Bigger "Why", Easier "How"
I attended the seminar on The Millionaire Mind Intensive by T Harv Eker over the weekend. This is the 1st time that the seminar was held in Asia and there were close to 5,000 people in the seminar hall.
There were many things to learn and unlearn in this seminar. Many good stories and experiences were shared, our beliefs were challenged and of course we had a lot of fun too.
“The bigger the why, the easier the how” – Harv shared with us one of Jim Rohn’s sayings, and he repeated this many times.
I pondered over this statement for quite a while, thought about my own experiences and could not agree more with this statement – “The bigger the why, the easier the how”.
What does bigger “why” means? Clarity on what we want and why we want it (the purpose). With clarity on our purpose, we will then have the motivation to take action and look for ways to get what we want, thus the easier “how”.
On the other hand, if we cannot answer the “why” or is vague about the answer, then it is unlikely that we know how to move on as we do not know where we are heading and why do we even have to move.
There were many other nuggets that I picked up from the seminar, but for now, “the bigger the why, the easier the how” stick in my mind.
There were many things to learn and unlearn in this seminar. Many good stories and experiences were shared, our beliefs were challenged and of course we had a lot of fun too.
“The bigger the why, the easier the how” – Harv shared with us one of Jim Rohn’s sayings, and he repeated this many times.
I pondered over this statement for quite a while, thought about my own experiences and could not agree more with this statement – “The bigger the why, the easier the how”.
What does bigger “why” means? Clarity on what we want and why we want it (the purpose). With clarity on our purpose, we will then have the motivation to take action and look for ways to get what we want, thus the easier “how”.
On the other hand, if we cannot answer the “why” or is vague about the answer, then it is unlikely that we know how to move on as we do not know where we are heading and why do we even have to move.
There were many other nuggets that I picked up from the seminar, but for now, “the bigger the why, the easier the how” stick in my mind.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Quotes to live by in 2008
A friend gave me a 2008 corporate planner diary today. I flipped through the diary and I fell in love with it immediately. In addition to the practical use of the diary, there is a meaningful quotation with a nice picture printed on every month.
I read through the 12-month quotations and I really enjoyed it. I am sure you will too.
Jan 08 - You don’t pay the price for success. You enjoy the price for success.
Feb 08 - You will either find a way or make one.
Mar 08 - Seek first to understand then to be understood.
Apr 08 - Well done is better than well said.
May 08 - Cooperation and love together – make everything go smoothly in this world.
Jun 08 - Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.
Jul 08 - Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
Aug 08 - Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Sep 08 - You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
Oct 08 - The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.
Nov 08 - When we have done our best, we should wait for the result in peace.
Dec 08 - It is not the mountains that we conquer, but ourselves.
I read through the 12-month quotations and I really enjoyed it. I am sure you will too.
Jan 08 - You don’t pay the price for success. You enjoy the price for success.
Feb 08 - You will either find a way or make one.
Mar 08 - Seek first to understand then to be understood.
Apr 08 - Well done is better than well said.
May 08 - Cooperation and love together – make everything go smoothly in this world.
Jun 08 - Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.
Jul 08 - Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
Aug 08 - Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Sep 08 - You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
Oct 08 - The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.
Nov 08 - When we have done our best, we should wait for the result in peace.
Dec 08 - It is not the mountains that we conquer, but ourselves.
Don't Criticize, Condemn and Complain
I was at Borders, taking advantage of the year-end promotion to shop for Christmas presents and to stock up my personal library.
The bookstore was packed with people as it was a Saturday, but it did not bother me as I would normally just browse through the books row by row, shelf by shelf, and oblivious to the people around me.
But this time, I found myself interrupted by the scene created by a family. From what I gathered, the teenage daughter wanted to buy a book on a photo editing software, to complement what she learnt in school, but she wasn’t sure what the software is.
The father was impatient as the girl could not answer his questions, so he started reprimanding her, concluding that this must be due to her not paying attention in class, complained that with her such attitude, she would not go far in life, criticize her for lacking her own opinions, not knowing what she wants, not working hard enough, told her she would end up like her mother with not much success in life, etc. Then he complained that the bookstore was messy, people were not civil minded, did not place book neatly, etc.
Throughout the 15 minutes’ episode, the mother was quiet, and the daughter was left alone to fend off her father’s non-stop complaint and criticism, at times she was sobbing. She was obviously feeling embarrassed, angry and at times, rebellious towards her father.
Many of the shoppers, including me, frowned at the scene, but none of us intervened. I felt sorry for the girl, and the mother. I believe this is a common scene in their home, and I wonder what is in the girl’s mind and what would she grow up to be.
The bookstore was packed with people as it was a Saturday, but it did not bother me as I would normally just browse through the books row by row, shelf by shelf, and oblivious to the people around me.
But this time, I found myself interrupted by the scene created by a family. From what I gathered, the teenage daughter wanted to buy a book on a photo editing software, to complement what she learnt in school, but she wasn’t sure what the software is.
The father was impatient as the girl could not answer his questions, so he started reprimanding her, concluding that this must be due to her not paying attention in class, complained that with her such attitude, she would not go far in life, criticize her for lacking her own opinions, not knowing what she wants, not working hard enough, told her she would end up like her mother with not much success in life, etc. Then he complained that the bookstore was messy, people were not civil minded, did not place book neatly, etc.
Throughout the 15 minutes’ episode, the mother was quiet, and the daughter was left alone to fend off her father’s non-stop complaint and criticism, at times she was sobbing. She was obviously feeling embarrassed, angry and at times, rebellious towards her father.
Many of the shoppers, including me, frowned at the scene, but none of us intervened. I felt sorry for the girl, and the mother. I believe this is a common scene in their home, and I wonder what is in the girl’s mind and what would she grow up to be.
I thought about the Dale Carnegie's principles in the book How to Win Friends & Influence People, and I wonder if I also sometimes criticize, condemn and complain.
Dale Carnegie’s Principles
Don’t criticize, condemn and complain, from the book How to Win Friends & Influence People
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