Letting Go

Office party was held this morning but I was not in a mood for it. Last week on the Christmas’ Eve, I wasn’t in a mood to celebrate and today on New Year’s Eve, the feeling is the same.

This is the 2nd year that I feel this way. In the past, I would make it a point to participate and encourage my colleagues to join in, but somehow I don’t feel this way anymore. Gone were the days that I am enthusiastic and excited about every happening in my work place.

Why the change? I don’t really know. Perhaps I am now at a different stage in my life, perhaps I am disappointed by the changes in the recent years, perhaps the people whom I am closed to are no longer around, perhaps my passion has shifted somewhere else or perhaps I have learnt to let go …

2-3 years ago, I was faced with a tough decision. I was offered a good opportunity elsewhere and I was considering leaving my job, but I found it extremely difficult to let go. I was then very attached to my job, my colleagues, my company and many other things - I felt guilty about leaving my team behind, I felt bad about “betraying” my bosses who had taken good care of me and helped me to grow professionally all these years, I couldn’t bear to leave my colleagues and the many footprints I left in the company, etc. So in the end, I stayed.

Today, to a great extent, I have succeeded in detaching myself from the job and the company. I have learnt to let go of the many things that I used to hold tied to. I no longer put my job in the center of my life at the expense of everything else. I no longer feel uptight when things are not smooth sailing, I no longer feel hurt when someone pass negative remarks, I no longer see the need to prove myself or climb the corporate ladder.

It has been a long process, but slowly and gradually, I let go. The toughest part is letting go of the emotional ties that I have built over the years, especially with the people that I have strong bond with. As the day goes by, the ties get weaker and I get stronger in handling this “separation”.

Looking back, the biggest difference now is, I have managed to detach myself from my job. As a result, I am a “free” person - in many ways. I am happier, more at peace with myself, more certain of what lies ahead of me and more ready to move on…


I am not attached to my past.
It lies behind me, a distant shore.
I am not attached to the world.
I glide over its surface.
I release all holds to hold onto me.
Having myself, I am safe, I am free.

... by David Viscott from the book “Finding Your Strengths in Life”