The bookstore was packed with people as it was a Saturday, but it did not bother me as I would normally just browse through the books row by row, shelf by shelf, and oblivious to the people around me.
But this time, I found myself interrupted by the scene created by a family. From what I gathered, the teenage daughter wanted to buy a book on a photo editing software, to complement what she learnt in school, but she wasn’t sure what the software is.
The father was impatient as the girl could not answer his questions, so he started reprimanding her, concluding that this must be due to her not paying attention in class, complained that with her such attitude, she would not go far in life, criticize her for lacking her own opinions, not knowing what she wants, not working hard enough, told her she would end up like her mother with not much success in life, etc. Then he complained that the bookstore was messy, people were not civil minded, did not place book neatly, etc.
Throughout the 15 minutes’ episode, the mother was quiet, and the daughter was left alone to fend off her father’s non-stop complaint and criticism, at times she was sobbing. She was obviously feeling embarrassed, angry and at times, rebellious towards her father.
Many of the shoppers, including me, frowned at the scene, but none of us intervened. I felt sorry for the girl, and the mother. I believe this is a common scene in their home, and I wonder what is in the girl’s mind and what would she grow up to be.
I thought about the Dale Carnegie's principles in the book How to Win Friends & Influence People, and I wonder if I also sometimes criticize, condemn and complain.
Dale Carnegie’s Principles
Don’t criticize, condemn and complain, from the book How to Win Friends & Influence People
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